Ever the Hunted by Erin Summerill: Ever the Cliche

Ever the Hunted 

by 

Erin Summerill

Britta’s father is dead. After her two-month mourning period ends Britta discovers that not only is she non-eligible to inherit his property (making her effectively homeless) but that she is forced to poach in the king’s woods in order to survive. Despite her ‘skill’ at poaching she’s caught and arrested by the king’s guard. Apparently the punishment for poaching is death so Britta expects to be hung immediately. Instead she is offered a deal. Her father, turns out, was murdered and if she can track and catch the murder then she may go free with her property returned to her. Problem is the murder was Cohen, her father’s old apprentice. He’s also her old boyfriend because of course he is.  Fun times.

Characters

Britta: I will physically fight anybody who tells me this child is a Strong-Female-Character. Mostly because that would make me ten times more useful than Britta throughout the entire narrative. Here’s a crazy idea. Stop telling me how strong, witty and cool Britta is and actually get her to do something. Nope that’s not important. Instead let’s put an insane amount of focus on how much she thinks everybody hates her! And about how she thinks she looks ugly! On a side, not why is the ‘proof’ for this always in the gal’s boob size?

 (*insert joke about ‘flat’ female characters here*)

Hey just for the heck of it lets add in a little romantic angst. Because Britta if a guy gets all up in your personal space and flirts with you all the stinking time he definitely thinks of you as a sister. Yep. Definitely. Makes total sense.

Cohen: I’m a brick with muscles and I have zero personality 90% of the time. And even when I do have a bit of a personality it’s constantly contradictorily. On one page, he’s cheerful and the ‘people person’ one of the group. On the next he’s brooding and dark and soooooooo sad!!

and I don’t care!

But it’s fine because he smells nice. WHAT?!

Likes

I don’t even know: like I cannot even think of something good to say. Some of the dialogue was okay? Some of the description was pretty? The cover look NICE?!

Dislikes

So many clichés: Okay, look. A lot of clichés aren’t really the problem. In fact, I’ve read plenty of books that unashamedly used a crap-ton of clichés and I even liked some of them. Usually because they were used for comedic affect or they were just a back drop for something more interesting so you could over look them. But this book, this freaking book! Kept throwing these predictable, cheap clichés at me while expecting me . . . I don’t even know not notice them? Think they’re clever for some reason? I mean this was my relationship with the plot!

Book: ooh look! There’s a secret bad guy.

Me: yeah it’s the creepy Lord Regent. It’s as obvious as the evil uncle from every other fantasy book.

Book: hey maybe it’s this guy!

Me: Nooooo. I’m pretty sure It’s the not-uncle

Book: look at all this evidence for the other guy! Isn’t it convincing!?

Me: it’s still the Lord Regent

Book: Alright we’ve caught the other guy. Psych!! It’s the Lord Regent!!! Aren’t I clever?!

Me: *face palms for eternity*

The whole book is like this! I could predict practically everything from the beginning but the book kept expecting me to be surprised! Look if you want to use clichés fine! They really aren’t the end of the world like most people think. But for goodness sakes! Don’t try to convince me you’re being clever when you aren’t.

The Freaking Romance: it’s been a while since I’ve been so incensed by a romance. Mostly because it was completely asinine! Why the smelling! Why the stupid angst! What the actual heck Britta this dude might have murdered your dad. Wake up!

Complete lack of worldbuilding: okay so we’ve got two countries who don’t like each other (for some reason). Closed borders to keep people from crossing from one country to another (for some reason). Some kind of magical ability called channeling that is in one country? The other country? Both? And only women can use it (for some reason). Also there’s some sort of racist/sexist/some-other-ist plotline where the Channelers are discriminated against.  Oh yeah and those two countries are at war with each other for (say it with me) SOME REASON! I quit.

 What is even going on in this book? Nobody has any reason for doing anything! The best character motivation I can find is Britta’s wish to avenge her father’s death and catch the killer. But even that is thrown out the window in favor of smelling Cohen. I’m sorry to get on this again but who the frick thought that was a good idea? Am I supposed to find that romantic? Because mostly I’m just disturbed. 

In the end this book is just dumb. It’s not evil, it’s not even that bad. It’s just insultingly dumb. It’s the literary equivalent of a fluffy kids movie or the umpteen millionth action flick with more explosions than dialogue. If you want a book that’s got more description than action or more . . . sniffing (ew) than originality then go for it. I’ll just be over here, staying as far away from Cohen and Britta as I can.